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You smiled contently. You were leaning against a tall tree enjoying its shade, and reading your favorite book. It was lunch time at your high school and you were taking advantage of your alone time. You weren’t unsocial or anything, you just didn’t really like to be surrounded by people 24/7. You had a few friends and they understood your need for solitude at times.

“Excuse me,” a voice said in front of you.

Startled, you looked up. Standing before you was Alfred F. Jones. He was probably one of the loudest boys you had ever met. He was incredibly popular; a self-proclaimed hero who always wore a grin and looked like he had stepped out of a modeling magazine.

“Did it hurt?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Did what hurt?” you asked, mildly irritated.

He gave a cheesy grin and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, you know, when you fell from heaven,” he smiled.

You blinked. He grinned. You blinked again. He was an idiot.

“You’re an idiot,” you told him.

The bell rang and you collected your things before he could say anything.


You had shaken off your strange encounter with Alfred, dismissing it as a stupid attempt at humor. It was now last period, and you were trying to finish a worksheet your teacher had handed out. Out of your peripheral vision, you saw someone slide into the seat next to yours. You glanced over and immediately turned back to your work.

Why you?

Alfred F. Jones was in the seat next to you, grinning that stupid grin.

“Excuse me?”

You tightened the grip on your pencil.

“Do you have the time?”

You sighed, relieved. You glanced at your watch.

“Yes, it’s (time),” you told him.

“No,” he said. “I mean do you have the time to write down my number?”

You pushed down so hard on your pencil, it broke. He smiled at you again.

“You know, life without you would be just like a broken pencil. Pointless,” he said.

“What’s your problem?” you demanded.

“Well you see, I need a map,” he said calmly.

You massaged your temples and let out a long breath of air.


“Because I got lost in your eyes,” he said cockily.

You stared at him, dumbfounded.

“What do you say (name),” he leaned in close to your face. “Me, you, dinner?”

The bell rang and you fled the room before everyone.

TIME SKIP OF MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You’d never admit it, but Alfred had been running through your head all day. Despite how he annoyed you, his advances were rather sweet. Corny, but sweet. No boy had ever paid you much mind, and it made you feel rather special.

He’s just messing with me, you tried to convince yourself.

You were sitting in the mall food court with your shopping bags on the floor next to you. You were resting from your day of shopping and felt a little hungry. You opened your wallet and cursed quietly when you discovered you had no money left.

“You know, if you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous,” voice said from behind you.

You whipped around. Standing behind you, with that ever present grin, was Alfred. In his hands, there were two trays of food from McDonald’s.

“Are you stalking me!?!” you demanded.

He shrugged and sat down at your table. Without asking.

“Maybe you’re stalking me,” he shrugged.

He pushed a tray towards you and started to unwrap his own burger. You sat staring at him. He looked up.

“What?” He asked.
“What are you doing?” You asked.

He shrugged, and took a bite of burger.

“I asked you to dinner; it’s not my fault you didn’t stick around to make plans. I saw you here and improvised,” he said, sipping his coke.

“Maybe I didn’t want to go to dinner,” you huffed.

“You have to,” Alfred “You owe me for getting my license suspended.”

“What!?! How?”

“You drove me crazy,” he grinned before popping a fry into his mouth.

You blushed and refused to dignify that with a response. Alfred sighed.

“I could eat the food myself, but that would be unhealthy. Not that I care, but, still,” he said.

You weighed your options and grumbled a little as you grabbed a fry. Alfred grinned and started to excitedly chatter. As the two of you ate, you found yourself smiling more and genuinely enjoying yourself.

When you finished, he insisted on walking you to your car. When you told him you walked, he insisted on driving you home.

“I thought your license was suspended,” you said cheekily.

“That’s only when we’re apart,” he said, poking his tongue out.

You laughed and gave him direction to your house. When the two of you got to your house he parked the car and smiled at you.

“Thank you for the ride Alfred,” you said, attempting to leave.

“Wait, (name),” Alfred said.

You turned to look into his, beautiful blue eyes.

“If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity,” he smiled softly.

“A-alfred, I-,” you started to say.

You were cut off by his lips on yours. Before you could process this, his warm lips were gone. To say you were blushing, would be an understatement.

“Can I see you again?” Alfred asked.

You nodded. You opened the door and walked into your house. When you shut the door, a giggle escaped you.

Alfred smirked from his car, feeling incredibly lucky.

“Don’t tell me pick-up lines don’t work.”
A request for :iconworldsworstdeath:



I hope my updates will be quicker but, who knows ^-^'

I don't own Hetalia
I don't own the cover art.
America owns you.

Edit: Most popular FanFiction in 24 hours!?!?! You guys are amazing :3
Add a Comment:
Elricgurl Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
OMG! I love Corny!
animecatM1816 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
To be honest, I couldn't help but laugh at the pick up lines! XD It was just too adorable~ :3 Although I didn't get the second pick up line he used... o.o
jeffarnette Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I fall for guys that make me laugh, and I'm an American so I already belong to America and Canada (dual citizenship and he's hot)
hetaliafangirl01 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I luv FF's like thz

awesome FF~
piplup245 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014
Only Alfred can truly make me say yes with a cheesy pick up line.
EmeraldGirl359 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I think if anyone besides Alfred said these to me, I'd split my sides laughing at them XD
muuu1234 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014
Each one gets better and better <3
fatima14511 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The pick up lines are too good!! Lol XD AMAZING!!!
TerraAreli Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
yes owo
but this is different he was sweetly persistent. Not just tell you one sleazy line, expect you to think you want him to eat your face and leave >->.

That's a mistake most people with a crush make. Make one entrance and leave the crush. If you're persistent and keep making them feel special, they can't help but put you in the inner circle of their daily life. Conscious or not, they will start to expect you to be there, like a routine. ALthough not too much that they don't have time to breathe and live. Have daily pause before you try again owo. IF you really like them the wait will be worth it :D
DeviantLilGirl Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
By the time i got to "you drove me crazy" i was dying!! XD
ou8smileydeath Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013
I laughed so hard at this....but I honestly expected the Reader to put in a pick-up line to Al just to throw him off!
RandomPerson1011 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Student Writer
If any guy used these pickup lines on me, I'm going to kick them so hard n the balls, their children would feel it. But I don't mind if its Alfie though
LinksHetalianSheikah Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
...Ah, bloody fucking hell...That had me laughing so hard...Seriously those damn cheezy lines get me every time -- well, I don't fall for them, but they DO make me laugh and start to think of the bloke as a candidate for being a friend -- and laughing at this just proved that point :XD: This was amazing! Please, continue to write more!

((...Geeze; now I sound like a Brit [I am by about 99% of my heritage, but I've never been to England :/] XD Oh, how my little sis would be proud of me))
yuffie-fair Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this made my day
princessminight Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Student Writer
Lol i died at the McGorgeous
phy-be Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I thought the story was funny, but honestly, if a guy told me any of those, or all of those, well uh. I definitely wouldn't fall for him, I'd be like "are you kidding me ? e_e" and maybe laugh at the fifth one, but not all blushy-blushy.
But yeah it was a nice story ^^
EmeraldPeacock Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
The pick up lines were cute. ^^
14pip14 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
TIME SKIP OF WONDER!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GoldenSkeletonKey Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
So adorbs!! Gotta love the USA!
REvilPieGirl Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That was a reallly and i mean REALLY Cute story *SQUEEL*
DreamingBlackLeo Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(>_> There's an ad that says "America's softest tissues" on my screen, while I'm reading this story.) When guys get mad because we say we want someone funny, THIS is what we mean; someone that will make me crack up and pass out. XD
They might be cheesy but...I love cheese.
wishfulthinker014 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahahaha cant help but laff at d pick up lines XD AWESOME
Fireflowermaiden Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
ashleyjordan Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah this was so charming! Very sweet and a brilliant, romantic use of some of the most cheesy lines I have ever heard. Thank you, I am glad I stopped to read this :)
Traveling-Wizardling Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Despite the 'oh so very cheesy' pick-up lines, this story is a real treat!
Kavahle22 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Azu-nyan136 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
:iconsqueeeeplz: THE STORY IS JUST TOO CUTE AND FLUFFY THAT IT SHOULD BE MADE ILLEGAL!! Well, I don't really want it to be illegal, get the point.
KillJoy1222 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not much of a CountryxReader, BUT THIS IS AMAZING :heart:
holi-chan Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Ah, you forgot my favorite pick up line! It goes "You like water, right?" (the girl responds yes, then guy continues) "Then you'll like 70% of MY body!" Haha! I told this one to my big sis for kicks once, though, and she asked me about the other 30% percent. I just shrugged.
Black-Caspian Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is cute~ But those ARE some pretty cheesy pick up lines!
crystallized-skies Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Cheesy goodness. :D
Asvoria1 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
oh my... If anyone ever said anything like that to me I think I'd be torn between laughing and being incredibly embarassed!
:heart:very cute!
miaria1 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Ich liebte die Geschichte es regnet Schildkröten ist
BeagleBug Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ich liebe es, wenn es regnet Schildkröten!!!!
Zitenshi Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
xDDDD OMG! Those lines were indeed CHEESY! xD
Lady-Mystiana Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
This is adorable.
GodivaGoddess33 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm dying from cuteness overload right now!
Sonito1992 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Pick-Up lines: the pussy repellant.

Real sincere poetry can win a heart.
Chivalry will win over a lady of grace.
Machoness might win a one night stand.
But a pick-up line guy is guaranteed to get mace.
miaria1 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
lol win
914four Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You missed "Is it hot in here or is it just you?" and "If I told you you had an amazing body, would you hold it against me?", but aside from that I think you got most of them. Great work :-)
higal365 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my god.

Sometimes I wonder if hes aware of his adorableness or not.
skye-pixie Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The pick up lines were perfect. I loved this!
AnnaKitty Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Love the story and I hope you'll do good on those finals and the car will stop bothering you, dear!
FMAandKHfangirl Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Filmographer
Pfffffft, I love this! xD
deidarafangirl88 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
I was blushing when reading this it was so cute I love it! I love those chessy pick up lines XD
Ruu-Miha Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That was pretty smooth XD
SilverFool Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Pichoochoo Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awwwwww! This was so cute! :iconamgtouchplz:
Svitavotara Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
Nice work Alfred! :meow:
Add a Comment:

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