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Submitted on
January 29, 2013
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You smiled contently. You were leaning against a tall tree enjoying its shade, and reading your favorite book. It was lunch time at your high school and you were taking advantage of your alone time. You weren’t unsocial or anything, you just didn’t really like to be surrounded by people 24/7. You had a few friends and they understood your need for solitude at times.

“Excuse me,” a voice said in front of you.

Startled, you looked up. Standing before you was Alfred F. Jones. He was probably one of the loudest boys you had ever met. He was incredibly popular; a self-proclaimed hero who always wore a grin and looked like he had stepped out of a modeling magazine.

“Did it hurt?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Did what hurt?” you asked, mildly irritated.

He gave a cheesy grin and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, you know, when you fell from heaven,” he smiled.

You blinked. He grinned. You blinked again. He was an idiot.

“You’re an idiot,” you told him.

The bell rang and you collected your things before he could say anything.


You had shaken off your strange encounter with Alfred, dismissing it as a stupid attempt at humor. It was now last period, and you were trying to finish a worksheet your teacher had handed out. Out of your peripheral vision, you saw someone slide into the seat next to yours. You glanced over and immediately turned back to your work.

Why you?

Alfred F. Jones was in the seat next to you, grinning that stupid grin.

“Excuse me?”

You tightened the grip on your pencil.

“Do you have the time?”

You sighed, relieved. You glanced at your watch.

“Yes, it’s (time),” you told him.

“No,” he said. “I mean do you have the time to write down my number?”

You pushed down so hard on your pencil, it broke. He smiled at you again.

“You know, life without you would be just like a broken pencil. Pointless,” he said.

“What’s your problem?” you demanded.

“Well you see, I need a map,” he said calmly.

You massaged your temples and let out a long breath of air.


“Because I got lost in your eyes,” he said cockily.

You stared at him, dumbfounded.

“What do you say (name),” he leaned in close to your face. “Me, you, dinner?”

The bell rang and you fled the room before everyone.

TIME SKIP OF MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You’d never admit it, but Alfred had been running through your head all day. Despite how he annoyed you, his advances were rather sweet. Corny, but sweet. No boy had ever paid you much mind, and it made you feel rather special.

He’s just messing with me, you tried to convince yourself.

You were sitting in the mall food court with your shopping bags on the floor next to you. You were resting from your day of shopping and felt a little hungry. You opened your wallet and cursed quietly when you discovered you had no money left.

“You know, if you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous,” voice said from behind you.

You whipped around. Standing behind you, with that ever present grin, was Alfred. In his hands, there were two trays of food from McDonald’s.

“Are you stalking me!?!” you demanded.

He shrugged and sat down at your table. Without asking.

“Maybe you’re stalking me,” he shrugged.

He pushed a tray towards you and started to unwrap his own burger. You sat staring at him. He looked up.

“What?” He asked.
“What are you doing?” You asked.

He shrugged, and took a bite of burger.

“I asked you to dinner; it’s not my fault you didn’t stick around to make plans. I saw you here and improvised,” he said, sipping his coke.

“Maybe I didn’t want to go to dinner,” you huffed.

“You have to,” Alfred “You owe me for getting my license suspended.”

“What!?! How?”

“You drove me crazy,” he grinned before popping a fry into his mouth.

You blushed and refused to dignify that with a response. Alfred sighed.

“I could eat the food myself, but that would be unhealthy. Not that I care, but, still,” he said.

You weighed your options and grumbled a little as you grabbed a fry. Alfred grinned and started to excitedly chatter. As the two of you ate, you found yourself smiling more and genuinely enjoying yourself.

When you finished, he insisted on walking you to your car. When you told him you walked, he insisted on driving you home.

“I thought your license was suspended,” you said cheekily.

“That’s only when we’re apart,” he said, poking his tongue out.

You laughed and gave him direction to your house. When the two of you got to your house he parked the car and smiled at you.

“Thank you for the ride Alfred,” you said, attempting to leave.

“Wait, (name),” Alfred said.

You turned to look into his, beautiful blue eyes.

“If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity,” he smiled softly.

“A-alfred, I-,” you started to say.

You were cut off by his lips on yours. Before you could process this, his warm lips were gone. To say you were blushing, would be an understatement.

“Can I see you again?” Alfred asked.

You nodded. You opened the door and walked into your house. When you shut the door, a giggle escaped you.

Alfred smirked from his car, feeling incredibly lucky.

“Don’t tell me pick-up lines don’t work.”
A request for :iconworldsworstdeath:



I hope my updates will be quicker but, who knows ^-^'

I don't own Hetalia
I don't own the cover art.
America owns you.

Edit: Most popular FanFiction in 24 hours!?!?! You guys are amazing :3
Add a Comment:
piplup245 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014
Only Alfred can truly make me say yes with a cheesy pick up line.
EmeraldGirl359 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I think if anyone besides Alfred said these to me, I'd split my sides laughing at them XD
muuu1234 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014
Each one gets better and better <3
fatima14511 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The pick up lines are too good!! Lol XD AMAZING!!!
TerraAreli Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
yes owo
but this is different he was sweetly persistent. Not just tell you one sleazy line, expect you to think you want him to eat your face and leave >->.

That's a mistake most people with a crush make. Make one entrance and leave the crush. If you're persistent and keep making them feel special, they can't help but put you in the inner circle of their daily life. Conscious or not, they will start to expect you to be there, like a routine. ALthough not too much that they don't have time to breathe and live. Have daily pause before you try again owo. IF you really like them the wait will be worth it :D
DeviantLilGirl Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
By the time i got to "you drove me crazy" i was dying!! XD
ou8smileydeath Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013
I laughed so hard at this....but I honestly expected the Reader to put in a pick-up line to Al just to throw him off!
RandomPerson1011 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Student Writer
If any guy used these pickup lines on me, I'm going to kick them so hard n the balls, their children would feel it. But I don't mind if its Alfie though
...Ah, bloody fucking hell...That had me laughing so hard...Seriously those damn cheezy lines get me every time -- well, I don't fall for them, but they DO make me laugh and start to think of the bloke as a candidate for being a friend -- and laughing at this just proved that point :XD: This was amazing! Please, continue to write more!

((...Geeze; now I sound like a Brit [I am by about 99% of my heritage, but I've never been to England :/] XD Oh, how my little sis would be proud of me))
yuffie-fair Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this made my day
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